My friend Leigh asked me for some help. He is writing a paper on cloning and needed people to fill out a survey on cloning for it. So he sent it to me on Facebook.
So I responded with...
"Would you like me to do it from my perspective or from a fundamentalist Christian perspective? I can make it much more entertaining if I pretend to be a fundie."
Leigh responds back with...
"do the christian one :P"
OK...he asked for it.
Here is his survey, with my responses, from a fundamentalist Christian perspective...
Please answer the following questions.
1. What is cloning?
Cloning is a temptation of the devil. We were made in God's image. To make others in our images implies that we are Gods. We cannot take God's tasks as our own; he is our shepherd.
2. How do you feel about cloning?
Pastor Bloherd stated in a sermon just a few weeks ago that cloning is an abomination. He knows these things better than I; he was educated and is one of God's chosen spokespeople. Who am I to argue with him?
3. What is a positive aspect of cloning? Why?
There are no positive aspects....
4. What is a negative aspect of cloning? Why?
What isn't negative? Stealing our babies to clone them and replace them. Brainwashing them to not know the word of God. An army of atheist minions to conquer this world of God.
5. Do you feel cloning could be beneficial to our community?
I can't think of any.
6. Do you think cloning is immoral? Why?
Yes. Pastor Bloherd says so. It is not our place to play God.
7. Would you be a cloning donor? Why?
No. My body is God's, and I could not allow it to be perverted for the immoral damnations of Science. This world was created four thousand years ago, and will end soon. The rapture is close at hand. The Scientists lead people into damnations through such sins as pretending in dinosaurs and evolution, when the fossils were clearly placed there to fool us by the devil and make us doubt in God's divine plan.
8. Under what circumstances do you think cloning would be alright?
If God told us it was OK.
9. Who would you clone?
Pat Robertson and Billy Graham. And George W. Bush, so we would never have to have a different president.
10. Do you think cloning should be banned all together? Why?
Yes, except under the church's direct supervision and permission.
11. Should solders be cloned for military purposes?
I would only allow clones to be used for military purposes if the Church created them as an army of God, to drive out the Godless, the Jews, and those evil Muslims.
12. Do clones have soles?
Clones have soles on their feet, but they have no souls. They are remorseless tools of Satan.
13. If Michal Jackson was cloned, would he be black or white?
If Michael Jackson was cloned, he'd still be a black tool of the devil. If God wanted black people to become white, he wouldn't have given them afros.
14. How would cloning effect the natural progression of humans?
It would lead us to damnation and the Devil. It is a sign of the fallen world as we approach the Rapture. And they have a better version of Facebook in heaven. God's Facebook.
15. Would a clone be human?
Of course not. Humans are made in the image of God. Clones would be made in the image of Humans, but Humans have been twisted by the devil for his own ends, and only through eating Christ's body and drinking Christ's blood may we be redeemed and allowed admittance to heaven. Can clones drink Christ's blood? I think not.
Seriously, people should learn by now that I never take stuff like this seriously. :D
Back to schoolwork.
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